I read with interest the amazing three-year study funded by the MacArthur Foundation who interviewed more than 800 youth and young adults, and conducted more than 5,000 hours of online observations. The research team used a variety of techniques to collect these data including semi-structured interviews, diary studies, focus groups, informal interviews, observations of social network activities, and content examinations of thousands of social network profiles. The team most certainly did a thorough job of using qualitative methodology to solidify the notion that despite media reports to the contrary, social networking provides invaluable socialization and learning experiences that are critical for today’s youth. I congratulate the entire team for their tireless efforts.
It was gratifying to me to see that their conclusions about social networking validate the work of myself, and my colleagues over the past several years. In a recent article published in a special issue of the Journal of Applied Developmental Psychology entitled “The Association of Parenting Style and Child Age with Parental Limit Setting and Adolescent MySpace Behavior” we presented the results of two studies of parent and pre-teen and teen MySpace user pairs. Using anonymous, online surveys, we collected data from 607 parent-teen pairs investigating a variety of issues including MySpace usage and experiences, parenting style, limit setting, MySpace problems (cyberbullying, sexual predators, exposure to pornography), and other psychological and attitudinal issues. The research produced a strong picture showing how much pre-teens, teens, and young adults were using social networks (as well as other media and technology) and how their parents were, in many cases, not aware of their usage, underestimated their children’s experiences, overestimated online dangers, and did not set limits and boundaries on their children’s online behavior. MOST IMPORTANTLY, our research demonstrated that online behaviors, attitudes and psychological outcomes were strongly related to parenting style. Parents who adopted an Authoritative Parenting Style (using Diana Baumrind’s classification system), where they placed specific limits on their children’s behavior but did so by (1) talking with their children, (2) discussing the issues, (3) listening to their children, and (4) then jointly setting limits, raised children with better, safer, healthier online social networking experiences. Sadly, only one in three parents in our studies – and in other similar studies – used an Authoritative Parenting Style. A link to the article can be found on my website at www.Me-MySpace-and-I.com.
I am also gratified that the MacArthur research validated everything that I said in my recent book, Me, MySpace, and I: Parenting the Net Generation (2008, Palgrave Macmillan). The main premise of my book is that this is a whole new generation of children, adolescents, and young adults who face an entirely different world than that of their older brothers and sisters and their parents. These Net Geners were immersed in technology from birth and it has completely shaped their lives across all domains. The book talks about how parents need to be aware of the major impact technology and media has had – and will continue to have – on the Net Generation and the upcoming iGeneration born in the new millennium. The MacArthur projects reinforces these changes and parenting challenges.
I was most interested in the section of their report titled “Implications for Educators, Parents, and Policymakers” which listed four areas for consideration: (1) social and recreational new media use as a site for learning, (2) recognizing important distinctions in youth culture and literacy, (3) capitalizing on peer-based learning, and (4) new role for education. I am currently working on a new book tentatively entitled Me, My eLife, and I: Teaching and Raising the Net Generation (2009, Palgrave Macmillan) in, which I explore these issues and make strong research and psychologically-theory-based assertions about how youth are only going to become more involved in social media and how current educational models are not going to work unless they take advantage of this new generation of multitasking, media savvy children and adolescents. The thrust of the book is that our educational system, using its current models, is not suited to teaching Net Gen and iGen students due to its reliance on uni-tasking teaching methods, and its reluctance to integrate social networking and electronic communication tools into a multitasking environment that will be more enticing and pedagogically more appropriate for education. I was happy to see that the four implications of the report are all issues that I will be delineating in my book.
I was a bit confused in reading this section of implications. Even though “parents” were explicitly mentioned in the title, there were no recommendations about how parents should be involved in their children’s online activities. As we know from our studies – and dozens of previous studies of parenting styles in other domains – Authoritative Parenting is the best possible approach to keep children safe in their social networking, media-rich worlds.
Again, I want to applaud the MacArthur foundation and its researchers on a comprehensive study of social networking. I hope that the media will be able to refocus their reporting from the evils and moral panic concerning social networking to a more balanced approach about its positive benefits. I also hope that the media will recognize that these positive benefits are strongly influenced by good parenting.
I look forward to your comments. As always, feel free to e-mail me at LROSEN@CSUDH.EDU and visit my website for updates on our newest research on the Net Generation and the new iGeneration.
4 comments:
I'm a parent of two netgens, but older than the average. I've also worked with college students for the last 30 years. So, I have multiple perspectives based on how I was raised, what I've observed over the course of my career, and how I raised my kids (18 and 20) and have watched them develop in the environment they've grown up in.
In some ways, I believe we're seeing a progression of parenting behaviors, which are reflective of societal progressions. Both parents work these days; that's not always a bad thing, and very often it's necessary to keep a roof over your family's head. Of course, what I'm saying here is personal anecdote. You may have data that say differently.
The playing field between parents/adults and offspring/youth is never really level. It's not supposed to be. The game, however, is governed by rules usually developed by those wielding the most power or influence. The assumption is that the powerbrokers are the adults, but the grown-ups, over time, begin to yield some of their power/influence to their children. The upside is when parents and children develop close, personal relationships that aren't fear-based -- except if you listen closely, you recognize that part of your parent cred is to be perceived that way. In other words, your kids may portray you as more of a disciplinarian that you think you are, to preserve your street cred in their friends eyes. But I digress.
The downside is parents who try to be friends first and parents when they feel like they have to. Like taking out the garbage, parenting isn't something you can put off until you feel like doing it. Or, if you choose to, it's at your household's peril.
Unfortunately, some of this only-when-I-have-to mentality occurs with teachers as well. The result is students who do not respect or trust either parents or teachers. Not all students are like this, but I've seen enough of them through the years, and heard enough about this issue from various of my colleagues to know that it's too common.
You'd think that parent involvement would be one of the most basic assumptions of all, but administrators and other bureaucrats don't want to forcefully tell parents how to raise their children. That takes a pretty high level of authority, and a willingness to take your stand into court if the parents disagree. Schools are afraid of this, and instead of grading student work strictly, they come up with dress codes banning body piercing. Would writing deficiencies and plagiarism -- to name two common problem issues with college students -- be so widespread if grammar and documentation were drilled into students early and often, and their efforts graded strenuously?
Parents should be involved from the first time they hold their infants after birth, and not be assuming that their daycare providers and elementary school teachers are filling in the parent gap for their children. Remember when tv was referred to as the electronic babysitter? Entertainment is not the same as parenthood. Inattention to what their kids are doing online is just the next illogical step. But compared to the time, heartache and sweat that real parenting takes, assuming that someone else is watching and cares about your kids as much as you do is easy. Negligent, yes, but easy. In other words, I see too many parents who have ceded too much authority to bureaucracies that cannot do what parents should do.
Camilla, I think that you have captured the essence of what I believe we are facing. The new generation IS going to be involved in online socializing and using any and all new media/technology whether we like it or not. I think that there is a dual responsibility here for keeping them safe. In my book I provide a simple, but effective model for being a parent. By the way, nothing in the model tells you that you have to act and be your child's "friend."
First, and foremost, parents have to develop a sense of trust with their children. This starts at an early age where the child feels comfortable talking to the parent about issues and trusting that they will not be punished but rather reinforced for being open and honest about anything. The second part of the model is the parental responsibility to assess what their child is doing with their media and technology. I think that too many parents simply ignore what their children are doing, instead assuming that they are doing everything right. We cannot know that without watching and assessing their use of anything new. One sad piece of research is that parents are often clueless about how much time their children actually spend online, instead being happy that they are in their rooms and quiet. It is also clear from research that having a child/adolescent use a computer in their bedrooom is related to many serious negative outcomes.
Third, parents have to learn about new technology. They do not have to become experts but they at least need to know the language and what a technology does at a very general level. They don't, for example, need to know how to build an avatar and how to become part of Second Life and traverse its universe, but they should know what it is. What better way to find out than to ask your children to show you!
Finally, and this is the crux of parenting, there has to be two-way communication. And often. Short family meetings once a week (no more than 15-30 minutes) are a major help toward communicating. Yes, often both parents work and it is a hard life right now but that doesn't mean that you let your child eat in the bedroom and don't talk with them. AND, the most important part is that if you have a 15 minute conversation you should talk maybe 5 of those minutes (at the most) and listen the rest of the time. Don't judge, don't lecture. Be a good Authoritative parent and set clear limits in conjunction with your teen's opinions, AND monitor those limits. When the limits are broken there should be clear (written if need be) consequences for each broken limit. Parents have such a difficulty doing this in advance (called Proactive Parenting) and when they do face a crisis, they have to act retroactively and often come down hard with stronger punishments than are necessary if the limits AND consequences are set up in advance.
Thanks for reading my thoughts.
Sorry, but I forgot to indicate who I was on the previous comment. Sometimes I get so excited and feel so strongly about this that I react without thinking through all the steps. Oh wait, that's what kids do without good parenting!
Trust, communication, attention -- none of these things can be delegated to a surrogate. Well, they *can*, but the parent-child relationship suffers, no question about it.
There are two times you investigate what your kid's doing -- when you hear screaming, and when you hear nothing at all. I thought everybody knew that.
Another short anecdote, which occured to me while I was reading your response: We got our first home desktop computer in 2001. We weren't a family that could afford for everyone to have their own, so if the boys wanted to use the computer, it had to be in the living room, so I always knew what they were doing online, just by default. Last year, my son was a freshman in college, and I gave him a wireless laptop for Christmas. But, old habits die hard. 99% of the time, he uses it in the living room. Likewise, his younger brother, who is an online gamer, does his playing at home in the living room instead of in his bedroom. I'll have to remember to be thankful for those old habits, especially when I hear those wet noises that mean somebody's been blown up. :<
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