Second Life: Living in a Virtual World

I was watching an episode of Law and Order: SVU the other day with my 17-year-old daughter, and saw the detectives track a potential killer in Second Life. What is Second Life? It is a virtual world, created in 2003, but popularized in the media in late 2006 when it exploded from a relatively unknown site, to appearing on major television shows. Briefly, anyone can join Second Life by becoming a “resident.” Residents create avatars, or representations of themselves, using two-dimensional icons that are personalized. An avatar can be human-like or non-human. In effect, your avatar can look like anything you choose. Once you create your avatar you are free to roam Second Life. As you motor along you meet and chat with other residents, buy products (both real and virtual), create businesses, build houses, play games, or do just about anything you wish. If you have never been there this may seem silly or a waste of time but more than 20 million users find it compelling and addictive.

A psychologist friend of mine told me that one of his clients confessed to spending substantial amounts of time in Second Life, mostly finding female avatars and having virtual sexual relations. Needless to say, this was causing a strain on his marriage. His argument was that he was just doing the same thing as if her were playing a video game so he did not understand why his wife was so upset and hurt by his preoccupation with this virtual world when he had a real world right outside his computer.

Second Life is just one of many virtual worlds, although it happens to be more visually stimulating than sites such as MySpace or Facebook, which are based more on communication thorough written words. Nonetheless, these are all virtual worlds and people are flocking to them in droves. MySpace currently houses more than 200,000,000 sites, most created by pre-teens, adolescents, young adults, and yes, even older adults (who are the fastest growing segment of MySpace users). This makes it the 5^th largest country in the world. According to Gartner, Inc., a company that analyzes Internet trends, by the end of 2011, 80% of all active Internet users will belong to at least one virtual world and many will belong to several simultaneously. This is a staggering figure. We already know that these virtual worlds appeal to teenagers with more than 50% of 12- to 17-year-olds already having a presence on at least one social network according to national surveys by Pew Internet & American Life Project’s latest reports.

In my book, “Me, MySpace, and I” I talk a lot about teenagers and how they relate to cyberspace, technology, and, of course, MySpace. But this phenomenon is not limited to teens. Moms and dads have virtual worlds as do even grandma and grandpa. What does it mean that so many people crave life in a virtual world? What does this say about our “real world?” From the standpoint of a parent and someone who has studied reactions to technology for more than 20 years, it speaks yards about how our real world is not meeting our needs. If it were, we would not need to spend so much time in cyberspace. What needs are not being met in RL (real life)? From my research with children, adolescents, and adults, it is clear that these social worlds are just that – social. People are craving communication and companionship with other humans. Given the current state of our society, where we rarely know our neighbors since they most likely are only living there for a short period of time until they move on, virtual worlds provide an online neighborhood with a never-ending supply of “friends” and neighbors.

Is this good or bad? I think it is a bit of both. For many people, including children and adolescents, their world is so limited that they wake up, go to school, participate in after-school activities, go home (often to an empty house), do their homework, watch television, and go to bed. There is precious little time for friends, at least face to face in RL. So, virtual worlds such as Second Life and MySpace provide opportunities for them to socialize and make friends, even if those friends may not be people they would ever meet in RL. The good part is that it allows them to learn to be social and to experiment with different forms of their “self.” According to psychologists we possess a variety of selves, including your true self, ideal self and ought self. The true self is how you present yourself to the world. The ideal self is how you would like to be seen by other people and the ought self is how you think other people expect you to act. Virtual worlds provide opportunities to work on all three selves and according to more than 2,500 interviews with MySpacers; this is exactly what they are doing.

Is it bad? It can be. There are a plethora of potential potholes including Internet addiction, cyberbullying, pornography, sexual predators, and anything else the media can hype as a negative aspect of virtual worlds. How bad are these? My own research as well as that done by the Pew group and Crimes Against Children Research Center, indicates that these problems are not as bad as the media portrayals. In fact, long-term studies show that most of these potential Internet hazards have declined over the past few years.

Whether it is Second Life, MySpace, Facebook or any other virtual social network, the chances are that the best way to stay safe is through moderation. Parents need to help monitor and limit their children’s use and exposure and adults need to monitor their own use as well as that of their family and friends. Technology can be quite addicting. It is fast, visually stimulating, and fun, but it cannot be your only social outlet. You inhabit RL and you have to spend time there to develop real-world skills and friendships.

Online Confessionals: 15 Minutes of Fame?

I just did a TV taping for a syndicated show on the rise of online confessional websites. The questions were so interesting that I thought I would share some of my answers. If you have never seen an online confessional site visit either http://www.ivescrewedup.com or perhaps http://www.truedadconfessions.com. Here are some samples of what’s out there:

I confess that I have stolen about $15,000.00 when working for a family member. I was sexually active as a teenager and pregnant when I got married. I did drugs and drank as a teenager. My cousin and I use to do sexual things as young girls. I've masturbated a few times. I have wished death and bad things on people I didn't like. I've lied a lot in my life. I have since turned my life around and asked to be forgiven for all my sins.

Been married11 years now I still have occasional dreams about my ex-fiancé. I still feel she was my perfect woman, and wonder what happened

Both of these confessions were anonymous.

Anonymity plays a major role in telling all online. You can say things behind the screen that you would never say face-to-face – I’m sure that the dad in the second sample has never told his wife how he feels – and feel free and vindicated. The vindication is critical since most “secrets” are never shared and stay in the background of our brain, picking at us when we are vulnerable or feeling particularly poorly. Telling all online helps get those feelings out of your brain and places them in a permanent, online location where they can be revisited at any time. They say the “confession is good for the soul” and these sites provide that avenue.

A second aspect of online confessions is the sense of empowerment people get when they see their words on the screen. Everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame. We have seen that happen with YouTube videos and other websites. There is a sense of empowerment in being able to go to Trip Advisor and tell the world how awful that hotel in San Francisco was and why they shouldn’t consider staying there. Those words carry weight and that makes people feel important. Notice on Amazon that book reviews are preceded by a count of the number of people who found the review helpful. If you have ever given your thoughts about a book on Amazon, don’t you feel great if it says “20 of 25 people found this review helpful”?

A third issue concerns feedback. Many of these sites allow others to comment on confessions. Reading the comments, they appear to mostly center around people saying how they did the same thing and understand why the person did it and appreciate the confession. This provides support – positive reinforcement according to psychologists – and engenders a positive sense of self. Reading the first confession above, I followed the links to comments and found that most were quite positive and many people told the confessor that they understood, were proud of the person for turning her life around, and were more than happy to grant forgiveness. In the past many people felt that they could only be granted forgiveness for their sins by their priest, rabbi, or other ordained person who was allowed to grant absolution. Now, anonymous people can do the same and perhaps this makes the confessor feel even better than going to confession since she can read these absolutions often and continue to heal psychically.

Fourth, people who confess online and see others commenting on their sins gain a sense that must be similar to those contestants on reality shows. It is no surprise that the weekly television ratings show reality shows to be among the most viewed. Some people crave public attention and they can’t all be on television. The Internet is the biggest reality show around. Millions can view your thoughts and unlike reality television, which rarely replays shows, this Internet reality show stays forever. YouTube is a great example of this phenomenon. Lonelygirl15 jumped to world prominence for her frequent missives about life. Even though she was exposed as an actress playing a role, her videos were among the most viewed. Other YouTubers have had their day in the sunshine with some gaining fame. Brook Brodack (username Brookers) is now developing a television show. Others have been signed by record companies or given spots on network television. Just browse YouTube and you will see videos that garner millions of viewings in just the first several days after posting. It is a form of fame to which anyone can aspire.

Is there a downside to these sites? Certainly. For example, people have confessed to heinous crimes but they are protected by their anonymity. Imagine that your friend was murdered and the murderer was never caught. Now you are reading online confessions and you see someone confessing to that act. How would you feel? My guess is that you would be forced back to the beginning of the grief process and knowing that the person is out there and free can only make you upset and angry.

The power of anonymity in engendering confessions is not novel. Priests sit in a booth next to the confessor with a curtain barrier between the two because it is easier to confess without looking at someone. The power of this was never made more poignant to me than when back in the 1970s I used a program called ELIZA to demonstrate the power of technology. ELIZA was a simple computer program written by Joseph Weizenbaum in 1966 to model a Rogerian psychotherapist. The program would use Carl Rogers’ idea of rephrasing the client’s statements and returning them as questions. For example, if you typed “I hate my mother” ELIZA would type back “Tell me more about your mother.” The program was written as an example of the power of technology and artificial intelligence but was never intended to replace face-to-face therapy. I would have an entire class sit at computers and talk to ELIZA for the final 15 minutes of class. Invariably, one or two students would want to stay after class to keep talking. When I would walk by their computers they would cover up the screen saying something on the order of “This is personal between me and ELIZA.” In later papers the students had to write about their experiences with ELIZA, many told me that they used it as a form of confession.

The Internet is no doubt the most powerful influence of the millennium. In the parlance of psychologists, we are experiencing “unanticipated consequences” that its creators never envisioned. Online confessionals, the viral nature of YouTube videos, the power and omnipresence of MySpace are but a few. Clearly, the future will bring more uses that we can’t imagine. Teaching and writing about the “psychology of technology” gives me an opportunity to explore these worlds and discover their value or, in some cases, their potential harm. Regardless, the ride is fascinating and never boring. When I teach my course on “The Global Impact of Technology” there is no textbook. Instead, there are weekly postings of articles about the impact of technology. No textbook can capture the speed of change in cyberspace. This fascinates and intrigues me and guides my research.

As always, I welcome your comments and thoughts.