I just did a TV taping for a syndicated show on the rise of online confessional websites. The questions were so interesting that I thought I would share some of my answers. If you have never seen an online confessional site visit either http://www.ivescrewedup.com or perhaps http://www.truedadconfessions.com. Here are some samples of what’s out there:
I confess that I have stolen about $15,000.00 when working for a family member. I was sexually active as a teenager and pregnant when I got married. I did drugs and drank as a teenager. My cousin and I use to do sexual things as young girls. I've masturbated a few times. I have wished death and bad things on people I didn't like. I've lied a lot in my life. I have since turned my life around and asked to be forgiven for all my sins.
Been married11 years now I still have occasional dreams about my ex-fiancé. I still feel she was my perfect woman, and wonder what happened
Both of these confessions were anonymous.
Anonymity plays a major role in telling all online. You can say things behind the screen that you would never say face-to-face – I’m sure that the dad in the second sample has never told his wife how he feels – and feel free and vindicated. The vindication is critical since most “secrets” are never shared and stay in the background of our brain, picking at us when we are vulnerable or feeling particularly poorly. Telling all online helps get those feelings out of your brain and places them in a permanent, online location where they can be revisited at any time. They say the “confession is good for the soul” and these sites provide that avenue.
A second aspect of online confessions is the sense of empowerment people get when they see their words on the screen. Everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame. We have seen that happen with YouTube videos and other websites. There is a sense of empowerment in being able to go to Trip Advisor and tell the world how awful that hotel in San Francisco was and why they shouldn’t consider staying there. Those words carry weight and that makes people feel important. Notice on Amazon that book reviews are preceded by a count of the number of people who found the review helpful. If you have ever given your thoughts about a book on Amazon, don’t you feel great if it says “20 of 25 people found this review helpful”?
A third issue concerns feedback. Many of these sites allow others to comment on confessions. Reading the comments, they appear to mostly center around people saying how they did the same thing and understand why the person did it and appreciate the confession. This provides support – positive reinforcement according to psychologists – and engenders a positive sense of self. Reading the first confession above, I followed the links to comments and found that most were quite positive and many people told the confessor that they understood, were proud of the person for turning her life around, and were more than happy to grant forgiveness. In the past many people felt that they could only be granted forgiveness for their sins by their priest, rabbi, or other ordained person who was allowed to grant absolution. Now, anonymous people can do the same and perhaps this makes the confessor feel even better than going to confession since she can read these absolutions often and continue to heal psychically.
Fourth, people who confess online and see others commenting on their sins gain a sense that must be similar to those contestants on reality shows. It is no surprise that the weekly television ratings show reality shows to be among the most viewed. Some people crave public attention and they can’t all be on television. The Internet is the biggest reality show around. Millions can view your thoughts and unlike reality television, which rarely replays shows, this Internet reality show stays forever. YouTube is a great example of this phenomenon. Lonelygirl15 jumped to world prominence for her frequent missives about life. Even though she was exposed as an actress playing a role, her videos were among the most viewed. Other YouTubers have had their day in the sunshine with some gaining fame. Brook Brodack (username Brookers) is now developing a television show. Others have been signed by record companies or given spots on network television. Just browse YouTube and you will see videos that garner millions of viewings in just the first several days after posting. It is a form of fame to which anyone can aspire.
Is there a downside to these sites? Certainly. For example, people have confessed to heinous crimes but they are protected by their anonymity. Imagine that your friend was murdered and the murderer was never caught. Now you are reading online confessions and you see someone confessing to that act. How would you feel? My guess is that you would be forced back to the beginning of the grief process and knowing that the person is out there and free can only make you upset and angry.
The power of anonymity in engendering confessions is not novel. Priests sit in a booth next to the confessor with a curtain barrier between the two because it is easier to confess without looking at someone. The power of this was never made more poignant to me than when back in the 1970s I used a program called ELIZA to demonstrate the power of technology. ELIZA was a simple computer program written by Joseph Weizenbaum in 1966 to model a Rogerian psychotherapist. The program would use Carl Rogers’ idea of rephrasing the client’s statements and returning them as questions. For example, if you typed “I hate my mother” ELIZA would type back “Tell me more about your mother.” The program was written as an example of the power of technology and artificial intelligence but was never intended to replace face-to-face therapy. I would have an entire class sit at computers and talk to ELIZA for the final 15 minutes of class. Invariably, one or two students would want to stay after class to keep talking. When I would walk by their computers they would cover up the screen saying something on the order of “This is personal between me and ELIZA.” In later papers the students had to write about their experiences with ELIZA, many told me that they used it as a form of confession.
The Internet is no doubt the most powerful influence of the millennium. In the parlance of psychologists, we are experiencing “unanticipated consequences” that its creators never envisioned. Online confessionals, the viral nature of YouTube videos, the power and omnipresence of MySpace are but a few. Clearly, the future will bring more uses that we can’t imagine. Teaching and writing about the “psychology of technology” gives me an opportunity to explore these worlds and discover their value or, in some cases, their potential harm. Regardless, the ride is fascinating and never boring. When I teach my course on “The Global Impact of Technology” there is no textbook. Instead, there are weekly postings of articles about the impact of technology. No textbook can capture the speed of change in cyberspace. This fascinates and intrigues me and guides my research.
As always, I welcome your comments and thoughts.
0 comments:
Post a Comment